Like so many other people transitioning out of their 20s, I’ve become obsessed with real estate. However, I have no desire to actually own property. Yuck. Too much work. Too risky. Too permanent.

Instead, I want to be able to jump from cool house to cool house without the hassles of moving. Something between a hotel, a rental and a timeshare. I can fool myself into believing I own ten houses. All within a few miles from one another. And when I get tired of one place, I just hop over to the next house. Where everything feels shiny and new. Think of it like car leases on A-rod’s steroids.

Here’s how it works. I start off with a Malibu home like this…

malibu-homeVIA CURBED LA

And when I come to the realization that Malibu is for the birds. I jump ship to…

house-shareVIA CURBED LA

Now you’re starting to see the brilliance of this plan too, aren’t you? Oh, of course. I only pay a rent of — let’s say — $2000 a month.

Ah. One of the joys of being delusional. You come up with brilliant schemes that can’t fail. So go ahead, steal the idea. And please make it happen for me!