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In an interview with PLAYBOY magazine, Shia “BABY FACE” LaBeouf has these fighting words to say…

Probably the sexiest woman I know is my mother. She’s an ethereal angel. Nobody looks like that woman. If I could meet my mother and marry her, I would. I would be with my mother now, if she weren’t my mother, as sick as that sounds.

Okay. Let’s give BABY FACE the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps he meant that his mother is the only… wait. Drawing a blank here. What the fuck?

Oh Shia. Come back from the dark side. Success and fame are playing with your head. You need some better role models in your life. I suggest you turn to your co-star. Optimus Prime will know what to do. Here are some OP kernels of wisdom. Soak, my young friend. And learn…

Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing.

Sometimes even the wisest of men and machines can be in error.

We can’t deal with human beings as we do with Decepticons.

Prime: Your pumping days are over, Megatron!
Megatron: I’ll see you on the scrap pile first, Optimus Prime!

Hang on to your dreams, Chip. The future is built on dreams. Hang on.

Torture isn’t sport, but I accept your challenge.

Megatron: Humans don’t deserve to live.
Prime: They deserve to choose for themselves.

That does not satisfy my logic circuits.

Really. Can he be our next president? POTUS Prime. Has a nice ring to it.

primethumbsup

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