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Two “physicists” — and I use the mocking quotes because I can’t seem to find where they teach or do research — have published an academic paper where they make this earth-shattering revelation… vampires do not exist!

Their paper, entitled “Cinema Fiction vs. Physics Reality,” begins with the assumption that the first vampire came about sometime in the year 1600. Based on a moderate rate of infection,the physicists calculate that the entire human race would have been infected or wiped out by the year 1602.

Wow.

So that does it. I want my money back. TWILIGHT! You tricked me.

twilight1

VIA io9

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